CHUCK, #127

Bad Mantras

If I can transcend my ego, I will be amazingly cool.

I'm only as good as last night's ratings.

TV critics are your friends. Confide in them.

We're never gonna get nominated.

Breathe in fear, breathe out serenity.

I am love, I am stardust, I have a suspicious mole.
...read more

“I’ve never understood the sun. I know solar panels very much. I’ve studied it better than most people and I still don’t know how the sun stays in the sky during the day or where it goes at night.”

 ~Klan Wizard, Donald Trump  

Hey, quick question for you evangelicals: at which church is President Anointed By God worshiping today? just curious.

If Holly is so jolly, then why is it serrated?

"I tooted and everybody thought it was Landon falling down the stairs"  ~Paylin  

So... Like... did anyone else get clowned by their kids for using a stapler to wrap gifts or is that something yours got used tooo?

"Grandma, your 'grace' sucks. It didn't even rhyme. Why even bother if you're not gonna put any effort"  ~Sheldon  

JAY PRETLI: Now available in the festive flavors of:
Candy-cane
Eggnog
Pinecone
Cider
and
Scotch Tape ...read more

A confused and clearly drunken Jacob Marley just told me I would be visited by three goats.

I hate it when being happy messes with my anticipated holiday depression

Boys II Men “let it snow” don’t hit the same when it’s damn near 80 degrees.

Ways that I'm gonna to getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha:

1. One way
2. Another