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What is it with you people???

I'm the life of the highly limited, no one else invited party.

“What The Fuck Are You Babbling About: The Musical!”

Finishing a script and working on the iconic line the hero will say as she takes out the villain. What I have so far:

"Your twoFinishing a script and working on the iconic line the hero will say as she takes out the villain. What I have so far:

"Your two tickets to paradise just got canceled."

"Looks like you won't be on time to that bris after all."

"Party of one, your table of being dead is ready." ...read more

I coach a kids' soccer team. One kid was only giving 109%. He's off the team.

Just once, I would like to meet a detective who isn't getting too old for this shit.

Less game. More squid.

All the fun gets sucked out when a Squid Game becomes a Squid Job.

I have no use for details that are not salacious.

All these pop culture references are making me thirsty. HEY KOOL-AID!

Editing the endings of fairly tales to read “... and they lived.”