as soon as i finished my boba i made him take me straight to happy lemon again

My podcast is just an hour of expletives. New episodes drop every Monday.

Will @Starbucks still honor my reward points if society collapses?

Everyone bitches about Monday, as if Tuesday doesn't also stink, followed closely by Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

PRODUCER: That was the most powerful audition any of us have ever experienced.

ACTOR: Thank you so much.

PRODUCER: Unfortunately, we're going with Charlton Heston's stepson's god-nephew. He decided to give acting a try since his landscaping business is slow. ...read more

I only want to know things that are none of my fucking business.

I guess every generation gets their flinty blonde conservative provocateur who says outrageous things. Tomi Lahren is the most vapid one yet

Before getting on the scale, remember that muscle weighs more than fat.

Also remember that you don't have any muscle.

Yo, who we hatin' on today?

The more "religious" they claim to be, the stronger they will condemn you when you catch them in a blatant lie.

Elsa Burnett was born on December 10, 1902 in Stockholm, Sweden. She was an actress, known for Dollar (1938), Gubben kommer (1939) and Emelie Högqvist (1939). She was married to Harry Burnett. She died on January 3, 1999 in Höganäs, Skåne län, Sweden.

Any time someone says, “You know what they say,” I pretend I know what they say.