THEM: I hope you're happy.

ME: You take that back! You take that back right now!

This concludes "American Dreams Week"

Twitter has rendered the term “BREAKING” both meaningless and annoying.

"We Bought A Zoo 2: Enough Already. With The Zoos" twitter

"We Bought A Zoo 2: You Would Have Thought One Zoo Taught Us Our Lesson" twitter

"We Bought A Zoo 2: We Should Really Stop Buying Zoos"

I fact-checked all of my tweets, and they have been confirmed.

Very few things more dangerous than a dumb person who thinks they're smart.

Time to wake up and taste the stupid.

I'm awesome at predicting completely predictable things, Kat

Anyone else surprised how easily statues come down when you pull on them?

Thanks for ignoring obvious sarcasm today, guys! Great work everybody!