Movie pitch: A Spider-Man prequel focusing solely on Uncle Ben’s failed shoe store.

Sorry I called your body a “hellscape.”

I'm in a good mood, which is infuriating.

Assuming the goal is to spread COVID-19, this administration is crushing it.

No other society would let them hurt their children like this.

If he doesn’t get at least a Tony, all awards are meaningless

FITNYC💛

The people telling you not to get vaccinated are vaccinated. This gives away the game, no?

Movie Law:

In every biopic about a rock band, at the first performance, the singer's microphone has to not work and then it has to either turn on and produce a lot of feedback or turn on while the singer is cursing, and the drummer has to knock over at least a cymbal.

When you're trying to decide what to get to eat, and someone brings up pizza, there's really no turning back.

“This wasn't worth it.”

- thought bubble of people who show up to the Halloween party in extremely complicated costumes after about 10 minutes

BUT HIS SON'S NEPHEW'S FRIEND'S MOTHER'S EMAILS!!!