Please send negative vibes to my enemies.

No movie title will ever be as honest as “Snakes on a Plane.”

Welcome to the era where being a complete dick always works in your favor.

The good news is, you can always worry more.

Negativity is just realistic positivity

“Are you out of your mind?!? Nobody talks to him that way! Do you have a death wish?”

- the lovable but dorky friend of the new kid after he talks trash to the popular bully who rules the school in an 80s movie

Not that I have trust issues, but I will need a DNA sample.

I'd be extremely disappointed if I traveled to Transylvania and didn't get attacked by a vampire.

America:

Where people will give all of their personal information for a frozen yogurt loyalty card, but won't give any for COVID-19 contact tracing.

What would you bring to my big bbq today? (You're obviously all invited)

My friends and I pretend to make plans every weekend, and then we laugh and laugh because we know we can never actually socialize again due to the idiots who won't get vaccinated or wear a mask.

Oh how we laugh…

Aquaman being cool was horrible for comedy.