Me: blocks tons of people for the most trivial of reasons

Me trying to view a tweet and discovering I'm blocked: Hey, what did I do???

There is no bigger failure than an uncomfortable beanbag chair.

My trust issues stem from a snack package that had an arrow with “tear here,” but it could not be torn there.

“That sucked but I'll see it several times because superheroes.”

- early superhero movies

All rain is purple if you have an umbrella made out of grape Jolly Ranchers.

I don't even have a smartphone. I've been doing all this from my Zune.

Please reply to my tweets with a link I will never click. Like I need homework from the internet.

Open your heart to people. The knife slides in easier that way.

I'm indifferent as to the way you work it.

“The American President” was released in 1995.

The two critical issues facing the country in that movie?

Gun control
Climate change

Way to make progress you guys! ...read more

Did Twitter really eliminate the endless responses to clearly rhetorical questions?

I'm all strung out on zinc lozenges and Vitamin D like some kind of a rock star, minus anything fun.