To get Mexico to pay for border wall:

Dress in coveralls, say you have a delivery, ask for signature. BOOM! They signed invoice for wall.

I see you ran a comb through your hair today, Your Majesty.

We'll be fine as long as One Direction doesn't break up.

I've limited my drinking to only liquids.

New Olympic sports:

- stress eating
- seething
- avoiding people ...read more

A rapper should put an expensive car in their video. Not sure why they never considered trying this.