Rusty Holmes echoed from I.G.

Thursday, January 26, 2023 ยท 10:32 AM ·  

Never judge a book by its cover ๐Ÿค

As I continue my journey to heal I want to share some thoughts. Often I here the phrase “But you don’t look sick” No, I don’t share a lot of pictures or videos of me at my worst moments. I have seen the tears fall from the eyes of my family, friends, doctors, nurses, & strangers who have seen me in my most severe pain. Though I’ve thought about recording it to bring forth awareness, I personally cannot relive the trauma as I already relive it within my mind, body & soul. I replay those times in my head. Me passing out from pain in a hallway where a nurse had to lift me in his arms & carry me to the doctors office. Me screaming in the fetal position begging it to stop. Sleeping on the bathroom floor during both the day & night so I could reach the toilet in time. Being unable to move any part of my body for it felt as if my blood had turned to led. The surgeries, the needles, the tests, all the different treatments & therapies. I’m exhausted & wounded from the last 10 yrs. Though this started even before than. I remember at the age of 7 sitting in a doctors office looking at a boy younger than myself who’s skin was a sickly yellow. I asked my mom what was wrong with him. She said “He’s sick. He’s very sick. That’s why he’s here”. I looked into her eyes & asked “Am I really sick? Is that why we’re here?” She held me in her arms & said “You are going to be okay. He is too” & she kissed me on my head. I’ve been diagnosed with multiple ailments; Interstitial Cystitis-Hunner’s Ulcers, Dysautonomia, POTS, EDS, MCAS, IBS, IBD, Endometriosis, Ovarian Cyst Ruptures, Ovarian Torsion, Kidney Stones, Candida, Appendicitis, Failing Gallbladder, Pericardial Effusion, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, Hypertonic Pelvic Floor, Pudendal Neuralgia, Leaky Gut, Food Sensitivities/Allergies, Hypoglycemia, Shingles, Anemia & Body Tremors. I’m going on my 20th procedure under anesthesia this year. You never know what someone is going through from their appearance. Take time to listen. More importantly have empathy for all. Each of us are striving to live in peace & embody self love. Shower each other with light. One breath at a time. Never give up xxx
@awarecauses @taylor_munholland @rrawimpact
 SOUL 

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Never judge a book by its cover ๐Ÿค As I continue my journey to heal I want to share some thoughts. Often I here the phrase “But you don’t look sick” No, I don’t share a lot of pictures or videos of me at my worst moments. I have seen the tears fall from the eyes of my family, friends, doctors, nurses, & strangers who have seen me in my most severe pain. Though I’ve thought about recording it to bring forth awareness, I personally cannot relive the trauma as I already relive it within my mind, body & soul. I replay those times in my head. Me passing out from pain in a hallway where a nurse had to lift me in his arms & carry me to the doctors office. Me screaming in the fetal position begging it to stop. Sleeping on the bathroom floor during both the day & night so I could reach the toilet in time. Being unable to move any part of my body for it felt as if my blood had turned to led. The surgeries, the needles, the tests, all the different treatments & therapies. I’m exhausted & wounded from the last 10 yrs. Though this started even before than. I remember at the age of 7 sitting in a doctors office looking at a boy younger than myself who’s skin was a sickly yellow. I asked my mom what was wrong with him. She said “He’s sick. He’s very sick. That’s why he’s here”. I looked into her eyes & asked “Am I really sick? Is that why we’re here?” She held me in her arms & said “You are going to be okay. He is too” & she kissed me on my head. I’ve been diagnosed with multiple ailments; Interstitial Cystitis-Hunner’s Ulcers, Dysautonomia, POTS, EDS, MCAS, IBS, IBD, Endometriosis, Ovarian Cyst Ruptures, Ovarian Torsion, Kidney Stones, Candida, Appendicitis, Failing Gallbladder, Pericardial Effusion, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, Hypertonic Pelvic Floor, Pudendal Neuralgia, Leaky Gut, Food Sensitivities/Allergies, Hypoglycemia, Shingles, Anemia & Body Tremors. I’m going on my 20th procedure under anesthesia this year. You never know what someone is going through from their appearance. Take time to listen. More importantly have empathy for all. Each of us are striving to live in peace & embody self love. Shower each other with light. One breath at a time. Never give up xxx @awarecauses @taylor_munholland @rrawimpact !SOUL! @taylor_munholland
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