Rusty Holmes echoed from I.G.

Thursday, December 12 · 12:03 PM ·  

Some seasons in our journeys our harder or more beautiful than others but I truly do believe in this woven web of dark & light to be interconnected as one. Sitting in the awareness that good nor bad cannot be defined as light or dark. As we find love, stillness, strength, hope, resilience, growth, transformation, and more in both; for neither could exist without the other.

Recently I have been battling with a chronic flare. The pain has been overwhelming, frustrating, exhausting, & heart aching. My pelvic floor has been causing me the most issues but I have also felt as if my entire body was filled with lead. I feel so heavy. I have been spending the majority of my time doing my best to try to break the pain cycle in different ways. I’m sleeping a lot which I know is one of the best ways for my body to recover. I used to feel ashamed for sleeping so much because I initially felt like I was lazy or wasting time or fear I was falling into depression. With time I’ve learned sleeping is what my body needs to have the energy to fight these flares. I also now know the signs of when I’m starting to struggle mentally, at that point I’m very fortunate to have family & friends who lift me up.

I don’t know if I’m an optimist. I know I’m not a pessimist. Perhaps a realist-optimist. But I do know better days are coming. Even on the harder days I experience moments I treasure. I treasure talking to my loved ones, receiving kitty cuddles, looking up out the window & seeing how different positions in the sun transforms the colors, lights, & shadows of the leaves, listening more deeply to the lyrics sung in songs or how the flow of music shifts with the emotions of the artist, rereading my poetry books, listening to my breath & feeling my heartbeat in different parts of my body. This time makes me slow down. Places life into perspective. It creates within me greater empathy. Honestly I don’t think I would have the awareness I do without it. I hate being in pain & sick. I’ll do everything in my power for my fight for remission. But despite it all, I’m beyond grateful for all I have. Little things hold the gifts to a smile.

xo. #rrawimpact #chronicpain #onebreathatatime
@taymunholland @rrawimpact
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Some seasons in our journeys our harder or more beautiful than others but I truly do believe in this woven web of dark & light to be interconnected as one. Sitting in the awareness that good nor bad cannot be defined as light or dark. As we find love, stillness, strength, hope, resilience, growth, transformation, and more in both; for neither could exist without the other. Recently I have been battling with a chronic flare. The pain has been overwhelming, frustrating, exhausting, & heart aching. My pelvic floor has been causing me the most issues but I have also felt as if my entire body was filled with lead. I feel so heavy. I have been spending the majority of my time doing my best to try to break the pain cycle in different ways. I’m sleeping a lot which I know is one of the best ways for my body to recover. I used to feel ashamed for sleeping so much because I initially felt like I was lazy or wasting time or fear I was falling into depression. With time I’ve learned sleeping is what my body needs to have the energy to fight these flares. I also now know the signs of when I’m starting to struggle mentally, at that point I’m very fortunate to have family & friends who lift me up. I don’t know if I’m an optimist. I know I’m not a pessimist. Perhaps a realist-optimist. But I do know better days are coming. Even on the harder days I experience moments I treasure. I treasure talking to my loved ones, receiving kitty cuddles, looking up out the window & seeing how different positions in the sun transforms the colors, lights, & shadows of the leaves, listening more deeply to the lyrics sung in songs or how the flow of music shifts with the emotions of the artist, rereading my poetry books, listening to my breath & feeling my heartbeat in different parts of my body. This time makes me slow down. Places life into perspective. It creates within me greater empathy. Honestly I don’t think I would have the awareness I do without it. I hate being in pain & sick. I’ll do everything in my power for my fight for remission. But despite it all, I’m beyond grateful for all I have. *Little* things hold the gifts to a smile. xo. #rrawimpact #chronicpain #onebreathatatime @taymunholland @rrawimpact @taymunholland
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