Dear body of mine fighting chronic diseases & pain, I’m going to hold you & love you for all of our days.

It’s hard to fathom what being chronic is until you experience it firsthand. Often when you suffer from chronic diseases & pain starting at an early age you aren’t truly aware that anything is wrong or abnormal with you. It strangely becomes your “normal” & you end up pushing yourself harder to keep up with everyone. What I did know as a child was that I got sicker more often than my classmates. That I was one of few who had to go to the office to get meds. I knew something was wrong & scary when I saw my first specialist at the age of 7 & being diagnosed with my first chronic disease. But what I didn’t know was the full extent of what chronic meant. I always thought it would be something I would grow out of.

Over the years came more specialists, chronic diagnosis with 0 cures, being placed in case studies & undergoing multiple surgeries, treatments, therapies in both conventional & holistic medicine.

For me the worst part of being chronic is the absolute uncertainty. I don’t know when, where or why I’m going to have a flare or of what magnitude. I’ve tracked my symptoms over the years & there has been much I’ve learned but there is still so much that is uncertain.

The scariest moments I find is my body becomes debilitated & disabled due to the severity of the pain; to the point I struggle breathing, feel as if I’m suffocating & am internally (at times externally) screaming.

The most recent one of these events occurred last week. I believe the flare was due numerous factors all hitting & exploding at once. I ended up going to the Emergency Room, where I was thankfully treated with such incredible empathy & care by the doctor & 7 nurses. Being reassured the whole time they would do everything they could to help me & alleviate the pain. Which they did & I have been thankfully recovering!

Being chronic is frightening & heartbreaking. You question all the what ifs & what your life would look like if your body wasn’t under the constant state of being attacked. We need more research, find cures & end the suffering of all chronic ailments. #rrawimpact
@taymunholland ...read more